So, my dog die sometime last night. She was sick for a week, suffering. We took her to the vet three times, and they kept her yesterday. They cut her open to see what was wrong, patched her up after taking a biopsy and sending it to a lab because they had no idea what was wrong with her, hooked her up to an IV and left for the day. She died, alone in a cold vet's office. They walked in this morning and found her. And then my aunt, without consulting me, told the vet that they could keep her body to find out what happened so it doesn't happen to anyone else's dog. My Zoey is not some fucking science project! She died alone! She shouldn't have to spend another second in that damn office and now I can't even go get her!!!! So, I spent all morning listening to KD Lang and throwing stuff. Now I've got to go to work, but not before I stop and buy myself some goddamn cigarettes. If I'm going to be depressed then by god I'm going to smoke. It's a coping mechanism. That and music. I'd still be curled up in a ball in bed if I hadn't turned on KD Lang. Now I'm officially pissed off. And I miss my baby girl. She wasn't even a year old!!! When I figure out how and have the time I'm going to post a picture of her. She was adorable. It pisses me off that she died, scared and alone, when she was such a loving dog. Now I have to get ready and go to work and try not to look like I've been crying since 8. Think it would look bad to have the first person people see when they walk in the store to be bawling her eyes out at the service desk?? LOL. RIP, Zoe-girl. Mama love.
Current Mood: crushed